I need her carnally (p!atd fix-it fic)

[venomwolves]

I'm not sure how in-tune anyone on here is with the downfall of P!ATD (i.e. Brendon! At The Disco), but ever since I saw this post recounting how... trainwreckish Brendon Urie is doing with this new album and tour and such. I just can't help but yearn for some kind of fix-it fic for this whole shitshow...

Not in a P!ATD never broke up and everything was always peaches and sunshine way, but in a Brendon hits rock bottom and goes soul-searching, trying to figure out what went wrong, reevaluating his past relationships with ex bandmembers, etc way........ I HATE that I still have feelings for this trash human, like I so badly want to BELIEVE that there is still a real person under that giant forehead that is very lonely and regrets the decisions that brought him to be this washed up generic radio hit guy. I want a friends to enemies to lovers Brendon/Ryan slow burn. In FACT... I need a Ghost of Girlfriends Past (2009) fusion fic in which Brendon is assertively confronted by the ghosts of his past band members who show him his looming popstar drug overdose death, which makes him realize what a shit he's become and is driven to right his wrongs and such. It's for my health. Sorry.

The weirdest part of my visceral need for this hypothetical fanfiction to exist is that I've never been a P!ATD ff enjoyer. I've read a few in relation to MCR/FOB fics, but it's just not a fandom I've ever had my entire dick and heart in enough to scavenge fic for. But now that I'm in absolute need of a very specific fic, there's hardly anyone out there writing for the fandom anymore, considering the appeal is gone with how far removed the guys are from each other at this point... so all I can really do is be left dissatisfied with the reality of it all 🤔

Sighhh.

Comments

[dreamersdare]

I always headcanoned (headcanon? I mean, I still have PATD fic in my WIP folder, although it tends to focus back on the days when there was more than one of them!) Brendon as being incredibly in need of attention and affirmation, even if he couldn't ask for it. To be fair, I also headcanoned him as kinda fucked up. So, the concept of hitting rock bottom and then clawing his way back up makes perfect sense to me. But PATD were also my bandom gateway drug, so I still have a soft spot for them despite the trainwreckery.

[venomwolves]

They were my bandom Gateway drug, too! Even so, I didn't start reading fanfiction till MCR hit me full force, and by then I was kind of over Brendon's ego trip (came late to the party, there was no band to speak of at that point, lmao).

I fully agree with that take on brendon, though I've yet to see him written like that-- would love to hear some suggestions if you have any in mind that hit this (even if they're your own fics-- self-advertising is welcome, I just simply don't know where to start with P! fic 😬)!

[dreamersdare]

Ah, I fell into bandom mid to late 2000s, so it was full-blown Panic 2.0 madness. And I can't quite lose my soft spot for them because watching them at Manchester is still one of the best gigs I've ever been to.

Hmm, I'll see what I can find. I'm pretty shit at saving fic though, so I can promise nothing

[turps]

While I was always most focussed on MCR I did enjoy Panic and wrote about them, usually in crossovers, but once Ryan and Jon left I pretty much stopped following them. I've heard rumblings in the past about Brendon and can believe them, but to me they'll always be the band I fell for back in the day, where Ryan and Spencer were besties and RyRo took the time to paint birds on his face.

[venomwolves]

That must be nice to think of them that way! Unfortunately, for me it was 2015 that I first heard of them and fell into it all, so I pretty much completely missed the entire luxury of p! being any kind of group effort... pre-split has always been where my affections lie even with that perspective, but it's been a long and bitter road seeing what's happened since 💀